We know there are a lot of strong feelings on the issue of abortion.
Both camps, pro-life and pro-choice, are passionate about their cause.
But more than sitting steadfastly behind fences and covering your ears, it might do some good to listen to the other side and try to see where it’s coming from.
In this sense, the Reddit thread launched by Aborted_in_SG is a much-needed glimpse into the mind of someone who has had an abortion.
She made no excuses about how she got pregnant in the first place.
In her own words, she and her boyfriend were just “really stupid and irresponsible.”
Here is her description of how she got pregnant.
How I got pregnant: accident of course. My boyfriend and I used to use condoms but I developed some kind of latex allergy so we stopped using them.
He never ends up inside me, but we also had a lot of sex during my fertile time, which is when I miraculously got pregnant. In short, we were completely reckless.
How she got the abortion
They eventually decided to go the private clinic route, although they tried the polyclinic first (more on that later).
The price of the procedure didn’t really differ much for the two routes.
Why a private clinic rather than a public hospital? Isn’t it more expensive? : No, this is not the case. It’s exactly the same price, around 2k.
It is impossible to find an abortion for less than 1k now, even in a public hospital. With a referral from a polyclinic, an abortion at KK Hospital costs between $900 and $1,500 just for the procedure. Antibiotics, consultations, ultrasounds, etc. are all separate charges.
The only big difference was the wait time between the two options.
We originally wanted to take the public road as we thought it would be cheaper but since their first date was a month later (and time is running out in this situation) we looked for private clinics that do abortions and found the price to be about the same but MUCH faster.
If you call on a Friday, you can go to the consultation and scan on Saturday, then Tuesday is the actual abortion procedure. And you come back for a check-up a week later, that’s it.
Although you can use Medisave for your abortion, there are downsides.
For private and public routes, you can use your MediSave. Up to $900, if I’m not mistaken. The problem is that it’s not anonymous. If you do not want anyone to know, especially your parents, you should not use MediSave.
And that was it, in terms of the abortion procedure.
But let’s go back a bit on this process. Do you remember the respective waiting time for the private and public route?
Yeah, it was probably due to the counseling session she went through as well as the Compulsory waiting period of 48 hours after the consultation before anyone can have an abortion.
In Singapore, mandatory pre-abortion counseling is required before the procedure for all patients wishing to have an abortion.
Pre-abortion counseling started in April 2015 and is extended to all pregnant women wishing to have an abortion, regardless of their nationality, their level of education and the number of children they have.
But let’s look at the difference in advice between the private clinic and the polyclinic.
Private clinic counseling was easy, I just watched a video on how abortions are done and the risks involved.
The polyclinic immediately sent me to another room for counselling. It was just an old lady telling me that my baby can sense that i don’t want it and that’s sadand he can feel all the pain and sadness and I have to apologize to him if I decide to have an abortion.
They told her to apologize to the fetus and that the baby could somehow intuitively understand the concept of abortion.
And whichever side you take, we hope you can at least acknowledge that the statement is scientifically false.
Which is a big deal, because she was in a polyclinic, where we guess science matters.
Now some of you might be mad at the girl, even a largely liberal conclave such as Reddit had its fair share of detractors berating her actions.
Take this radiologist, who started his comment all merry like that.
“Hey, doctor here! I’m not a gynecologist but I’m a radiologist, so I have a lot of experience with pregnancy.”
At the end of the paragraph, he basically called her a killer.
“Abortion as birth control is barbaric, you try to romanticize abortion as a way of feminism or liberalism, but it’s not, it’s not birth control, it’s just a murder, you own it as a person of your own body, but the fetus is another body, is another person, as I told you, it is a moral dilemma for doctors all over the world , I’m not religious, I’m not from the United States, I’m just a doctor expressing my opinion and the opinion of many others on this serious subject, please stop making abortion an option for unplanned parenthood, it is not.”
So, the anger is very palpable.
The arguments revolved around different iterations of the same reproach, namely that she was irresponsible.
And that’s why she shouldn’t get any sympathy.
What if you had an abortion?
You are ruining abortions for those who really need them.
And these are common refrains when the topic of abortion comes up.
But, a rarely seen part of this conversation is the responses from those who have gone through the procedure.
Here are his responses to calls for irresponsibility.
And at the end of the day, instead of labels such as murderer being imposed on those who abort.
It may help to keep your eyes on the real divide and work from there.
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